Diary of a Gold Farmer
Our spies have uncovered a Chinese gold farmer's diary. Many rebels died to bring this to you, intrepid reader.
Day 1
Sweeeeet! This job fucking rocks. I can't believe I'm getting paid to play a game!!! Everyone has been so nice to me, showing me where the office supplies are and all that. The downside is that I am literally chained to my desk with a bike chain. My man Chen was pretty cool though. He taught me the ropes, how to login to my account, and how to use the piss bucket with minimal drippage. I feel sorry for the poor bastard that has to empty it.
Day 2
Had to empty the piss buckets today. Apparently that's what happens when you don't meet quota. I so did not meet quota.
Day 3
Got my account banned today. Learned that when a GM asks if you are farming gold, you should say no, instead of “find another camp bizotch, im farmin.” Had to empty the piss buckets again.
Day 4
Chen got employee of the month today. He inspires us all, I must strive to be more like him. Someone burned popcorn in the microwave.
Day 5
TGIF! And it's payday too–woot! Oh yeah, I got big plans for you this weekend Mr. Lincoln. Right after I empty the goddam piss buckets. Chen gets a little annoyed if it gets more than 1/2 full.
Day 6
Got to work late today after being called up and told we don't do weekends here. P-bucket duty again. I tried to ask Chen to make coffee when he takes the last cup, but he's all like “you make coffee pissboy!”
Day 7
Deleted the 60 Rogue that was issued to me and rolled a Mage. Just can't get into the whole Rogue thing. My boss was like WTF?!?! and then hit me. I'm pretty sure HR is going to have a thing or 2 to say about that. Piss bucket duty again.
Day 8
Holy shit, Mages can't farm worth a damn. So then I was all like “can sum1 plz gimme gold cuz mage suxass 4 farming and i dont wanna mt piss bucket ne more.” Got lots of “cry more n00b” and “stfu” replies, but no gold. P-bucket duty, plus I had to escort the Dell guy while he upgraded Chen's computer. Hello? Not my job!
Day 9
My new rogue “Xtremegoldfrmr” got deleted today. Someone must have tipped them off.
Day 10
Haha I /appealed Chen saying he is farmer and they locked his account. No way he'll make quota now.
Day 11
Chen made quota yesterday. I guess we're allowed to use the other 4 computers at our workstation. Someone could have told me, I thought they were for email and pr0n surfing.
Day 12
Got my last toon up to 60 finally. Also performance reviews. So I'm like the only person around here that does any work and I get “Needs Improvement” in every category. I should just quit and watch this place fall apart.
Day 13
Macroing rocks! I think I might make quota–finally!
Day 14
Damn, banned again. Going to post on forums about how I was unjustly banned. I should get enough sympathy from the boards, they will have no choice but to unban me.
Ah, from British plushie dolls to Chinese gold farmers. Is there any race you can't stereotype and marginalise?