WoW: I was wrong
My give a damn's busted
I received an email on Sunday from a reader (who I'll call Jared because as I write this I'm hungry and Subway sounds good) who'd been surfing the archives, and was a little concerned about my take on the average World of Warcraft player, who I have described variously as "dicks" and…well, that's pretty much it. Just dicks. Secure in my superious ability to holistically sense flamage, I normally shit-can this type of email, because most WoW players type in monosyllabic entities that can only be called words due to the nature of the clustering and relative proximity of the letters, characters, and symbols. I simply don't have the time to break out my copy of "We-Todd to Human" dictionary for every email I get. But this one was different. Jared explained to me, in a well-reasoned, even-toned letter that we're all gamers, that we all have different tastes and likes, and that just because some players enjoy playing a game that I don't happen to enjoy doesn't mean they're necessarily wrong. Yes, Jared continued, there are some undesirables in the game, but certainly they're not unique to World of Warcraft.
I have to say, I really learned something from Jared. He was eloquent, reasonable, and just so passionate in his desire to help me move beyond my narrow point of view, that I couldn't possibly not take it to heart. And so Jared, I say to you, mission accomplished. I did grow. I did open my eyes. I have been so very, very wrong. I underestimated the WoW community. I stereotyped an entire segment of humanity, and wrongly so.
I learned that even dumbass fucking WoW players know people who know how to write in words that don't have numbers in them, compose them in an email, and then hit Send with fingers that aren't encrusted with 4 days of the shist-like substance formed by Cheeto dust and saliva. I realize now that you don't spend all your time in your mother's basement snarfing the Safeway version of Mountain Dew, whacking off to Tauren porn while giggling into your greasy Ventrilo-connected headset about the n00b player 16 levels below you that you ks'd for 3 hours because it was so "FUx1N funny!" No, you eventually surface, Morlock-like, into the sunlight that tears at your retinas to drag a willing Eloi down to the soothing darkness of your subterranean lair, where you point and grunt your guttural instructions to "RITE E MA1LZ." So thank you Jared. I feel like Dian Fossey who, after months of skulking at the edge of the gorilla tribe, observes that the runty one (the Pastyback, if you will) exhibits signs of cognitive development that display said Pastyback's ability to not only fling poop in it's own ear, but to enlist others to fling poop into it's own ear.
Haha I'm just kidding. Turns out Jared was a dick after all.
July 17th, 2006 at 8:23 am
That’s why you play on a role-playing server, that way there are far less 1337 dudes. I’m like you, I can’t stand them and their moronic talk. Sometimes I wish I could reach through the computer screen and into their room and strangle them.
July 17th, 2006 at 8:49 am
A new WoW RP server just came up last week. I played on it a bit, as I played on a previous RP server, Kirin Tor, until and a little after the RP-ness of it vanished and it became no different from any other server.
All servers eventually are overtaken by the trash. RP or not. PVP ones are obviously doomed from the start.
July 17th, 2006 at 8:50 am
It’s okay Amber, you’re safe from them here. The simple addition that is required for commenting will protect you from the ravening masses of idiotic players seeking to sup upon the delicacy that is your brain. Certainly not -everyone- who plays WoW is as you describe, but the majority is such a large percentage, and the idiocy is so mind-numbing, that a generalization is almost necessary. One thing is confusing though: was Jared so much of an asshole that you instantly vomitted sarcasm out of every pore, or was the e-mail actually well written and he just turned out to be sofa-king we-todd-ed in the end?
It is so bad at this point that you can feel your intellect slipping away from you as you play the game. Unfortunately Blizzard owns my soul and won’t take it out of the stabby-monkey room unless I play their games.
July 17th, 2006 at 8:50 am
Excellent essay. It would only be better if you posted the dick’s email after the essay
July 17th, 2006 at 9:45 am
Wowza, that was breathtaking. Would you mind posting said master work of eloquence for us to bask in its’ glory? From the results, it must have been pretty phenomenal.
July 17th, 2006 at 9:57 am
Strangely enough, whenever I respond to a flame, asking for permission to publish it, they either decline or, as in Jared’s case, they do not reply. If Jared does reply with permission, I’ll be happy to post the original, although I won’t publish his email address. I can say that nothing about this email particularly inspired me to write, it just sort of occured to me that if people are still bitching about an essay I wrote 5 months ago, the least I could do is provide some updated content for which to direct their angst.
July 17th, 2006 at 10:44 am
Did you read this today? Once again, I find myself leaving this comment here: Now don’t you feel like a bitch? =)
July 17th, 2006 at 10:48 am
Oh you suck. That article is actually the subject of tomorrow’s essay, already a work in progress. Now I suppose I have to give you attribution too. Link whore. =P
July 17th, 2006 at 11:44 am
The Evolution of Munchkin
This is an old article by Monte Cook that I read a while back. I’m not sure why it struck a chord with me, but it did, so I try to remember it.
Of course that doesn’t keep me from going off and making fun of people who participate in RMT, so I suppose wagging my finger and saying ‘be nice to WoW players’ would be hypocritical of me.
So what am I trying to say? Who knows? I’m just as likely to rag on WoW players and those-who-speak-lee7 as any of us, so I can’t be throwing stones. Still, we should try to remember that aside from griefing there probably isn’t really a wrong way for people to play games, as long as they enjoy it.
July 17th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
omg u sux n stuff cuz u don no how 2 play. u r jelus of my char cuz huntars r teh best n stuff. lern2play. cry mor n00b!
*ahem*
Okay, that’s out of my system.
Anyway, there’s good and bad people everywhere, and online games really are not an exception. The biggest issues is probably the pseudo-anonymity, where there’s very little fear of reprisal for saying stupid things. I could say mean (and probably true) things about Amber with only a moderate fear of retribution. In most cases, the person broadcasting vile things about your mother knows there is little chance you’ll be able to find them and give them the punch in the face they so richly deserve.
I suspect there’s also something to be said for the size of WoW and how that affects the average intelligence. Back in the days of text MUDs the crowd was highly self-selecting: chances were that the other people you met were young college students like yourself. I met a lot of smart people from around the world, and got a chance to talk to them easily. Maybe this isn’t so impressive these days, but it was pretty cool in the days before the Internet became widespread. However, as more people came online you got a wider variety of people, and not all of them college-educated types. You started to get a lot more kids (both chronological and particularly emotional) coming online and thinking calling someone a “fag” was the height of humor. There’s a reason I personally prefer the games with a smaller community.
In closing: Amber is also a dick.
Have fun!
July 17th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
hey amber psychochild called you a dick you better del his comment like you do mine! oh but you probly wont cuz he dont play wow and i do so you have to censership wow players. or is it ok to call you a dick just not b**** or c*** lemme know so i dont get censershiped nymore. stupid story it dont even make since.
July 17th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
omfg that’s too funny. Note to self, never troll Amber’s blog. Move on Ax, you’re in over your head.
Dave (someone stole my cool internet name)
July 17th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
It’s interesting you mention that Amber censors WoW players. Unfortunately for you Ax, I am a WoW player and I have yet to be censored by her. Perhaps you should try a different approach. Let us start with basic sentence structure. Perhaps throw in a correctly spelled word here and there. I realize that we need to take baby steps here, but the first is always the hardest. I’m here for you! However, if I’m to help you, you need to leave your A.P.E. at home.
Cheers!
July 18th, 2006 at 4:57 am
I love it when people cry censorship as if its something horrible and wrong. I don’t believe that Amber has posted a Bill of Rights that includes a Freedom of Speech. This is a personal weblog, a private club if you will, where the fact that you can read it and post on it does not mean you cannot be thrown out and/or laughed at.
July 18th, 2006 at 6:28 am
I have nothing to contribute other than to comment on the well placed H.G. Wells reference.
Time Machine 4tW!
[-50DKP for combining literature and 1337ism]
July 20th, 2006 at 6:25 am
Given Ambers already admitted predilection for Spidey, I reckon it’s not so much a reference to literature as it is a reference to another Marvel Comics creation.
July 20th, 2006 at 9:31 am
Ax, you just don’t get it.
She doesn’t automatically delete posts from WoW players (I am one). She doesn’t automatically delete posts that are inflamitory or disagreeable (I’ve done it). She doesn’t even automatically delete posts from people who don’t spell well, or use punctuation incorrectly (I haven’t a clue as to how to spell disagreable, and I can’t be bothered to look it up). I really doubt it has anything to do with the choice of words or the fact that you called her a name. Like she even cares what you or I think of her.
Even combining all these things doesn’t cut it.
You have to be a total moron that somehow managed to find someone to complete the math problem for you in order to really get deleted, I’d guess.
Here’s a free tip. If you’re going to call her a racist bitch, you might want to wait until she says something racist. You failed to read and understand her post, then said something stupid. You fail at life, game over.
July 21st, 2006 at 4:59 pm
I play WoW and I’m not a dick.
But, I guess I’m the exception to the rule. I mean, I can string together a complete sentence and use proper grammar and spelling.
We moved most of our Alliance chars from Feathermoon to Kirin Tor and the difference has been amazing. We’re now in a thriving guild and having fun… only having to deal with idiots every now and then. The nice thing is that since we STARTED the guild, we can tell people to go away if we don’t like their names, or their internet speak, or their dick quotient. Hell, if we wanted to, we could tell people to go away because it’s TUESDAY.
July 21st, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Scotia, if I maintained a “Dick-Exclusion List,” you and the rest of the HBA crew would top it.
July 24th, 2006 at 10:56 am
Well put together Amber.
Who would have ever thought that WoW, monkeys, penis extenders and time machines could be put together in the same conversation. A most entertaining conversation to say the least.
Am I glad I stuck to EVE Online!
August 4th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
WoW sucks, coming from an overweight girl blogging on the Internet.
Nice mod powers, btw. Glad you use them to make yourself feel better. Please don’t post an article on me, O stereotypical minion-monger.