Excerpts from My Forthcoming Novel (Based On The Graphic Novel), “Armageddon Clock Zero: Countdown To Infinity: A Yellow Poncho of Justice Novel Based on The Graphic Novel”
Part 1 in an ongoing series of excerpts.
Forward by Bob Saget
I have always been a fan of novels, graphic novels, superheroes, ponchos, the color yellow, and Amber Night. So you can imagine how delighted I was to hear that Amber had written a novel based on her graphic novel, about a superhero who wears a poncho that is yellow. I knew at that time that I had no choice but to get involved.
Back when I first read Armageddon Clock Zero: Countdown To Infinity: A Yellow Poncho of Justice Graphic Novel, of which the novel you are about to read was based, I was stunned. Quite literally, in fact, as the author had broken into my home, tasered me, tied me up, thrown me into the trunk of my own car, dragged me down into a basement, tied me to a chair, and then asked me, very politely, to read it. And let me just say, of my own accord and free will, that I'm glad she did. From the very first page, I was riveted. This too I mean quite literally. Amber has a fairly extensive collection of pneumatic tools.
After 758 consecutive readings, I was struck (do I have to say the "literally" party anymore?) by the fact that this was simply the best graphic novel ever written by anyone, anywhere, at any time in human history. And it wasn't only the writing. The artwork is superb. Eschewing traditional inking, coloring, and actual artwork, Amber chose the bold route of utilizing the Amber Night Players to provide a dramatic canvas on which to realize her sweeping vision.
So you can imagine my surprise at not only the restraining order violation, but also that Amber had taken the next logical step in moving her vision to a whole new medium, the novel. Beautifully photocopied and wire-bound, ACZ:CTI:AYPOJNBOTGN is more than just a grand epic in the tradition of Beowulf, Lord Of The Rings, The Bible, So Much Blood, Losing Consciousness, and This Chick Is Crazy For The Love Of God Please Somebody Help Me, but it is a commentary on the human condition. Indeed, there is a certain gestalt of the yellow poncho that taps (*sigh* literally) into our psyche, and pulls at our primitive need to be protected, cared for, shaven, rouged, and please god not the clamps again.
And so dear reader, I turn you over to the author, whose words will delight you, excite you, terrify you, and make you realize just how much of your surface-world life you have taken for granted. It is at once a hopeful novel, and yet one that makes you ask questions about your own preconceptions, such as "why didn't I change my home security system code to anything but "1234?" Or "was it worth the few bucks I saved not to renew my OnStar subscription?"
Goodnight Michelle. I think it's night, anyway. It's always night down here.
September 5th, 2006 at 6:53 am
Lyrical captioning provided in part by:
Fiona Apple and Ambernight.org
Is that why they call me a sullen girl - sullen girl…
…And there’s too much going on.
But its calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion.
September 5th, 2006 at 7:17 am
I am damp with anticipation for this and the TV movie version that Oprah has optioned for her Oxygen network.
September 5th, 2006 at 7:33 am
Best. Foreword. Ever
September 5th, 2006 at 8:41 am
LOL! omg, best Bob Saget photoshopping ever! Or…is it?
September 5th, 2006 at 9:08 am
Well, according to the web site, his last appearance was in June, so that leaves plenty of time for abduction, confinement, and torture.
September 5th, 2006 at 9:20 am
I’m certain it’s a real photo. Amber is scary. I’m hoping she sticks to abducting those she likes or admires.
September 5th, 2006 at 9:35 am
Voluntary captives? Hmm… like some sort of macabre variation of the Stockholm Syndrome. We’ll have to make sure that makes it into the movie.
Crucifixtion? Good. Out the door, line to your left, one cross each.
September 5th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
sorry jason but according to the officiel cannon, there is no ypoj tv movie but there is a ypoj tv series starring Lisa Loeb as ypoj:
http://ambernight.org/archives/2006/04/24/199
Amber said,
sombody should start a yellow poncho of justice wiki to keep the timeline strait!
September 5th, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Whoever it is, from the side I can’t help but think of Sarah Silverman.
September 6th, 2006 at 4:20 am
As that is but an excerpt, it does not preclude the non-existance of a TV movie. Nor does stating that I am waiting for said TV movie mean that it will be completed. I suspect that egos will clash on set and that the world will lose a media mogul in the ensuing catfight.
September 6th, 2006 at 7:15 am
Krones:
lol, that really is me from the side. But I love the Sarah Silverman comparison, I’ll take it.
September 6th, 2006 at 9:24 am
And there was me thinking Kirsten Dunst was making a play for another man in your ‘life’
September 6th, 2006 at 9:45 am
What I really like about the profile view is how it shows off your lovely hair extensions.
*ducks*
Dave (someone stole my cool internet name)
September 6th, 2006 at 10:00 am
YOU ARE SO DEAD!
September 7th, 2006 at 8:00 am
Oh…Dave. Oh hon, you went there didn’t you? That’s unfortunate. Very, very regrettable. I blame myself, really. I wasn’t clear enough on this particular subject. But not to worry. I’m going to name a camp after you, Dave. Camp Dave. You’ll be a shining example for all the world. All shall love me and despair.
February 8th, 2007 at 8:02 am
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