A Very Special Halloween Episode of Teen Yellow Poncho of Justice
It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
INT. KITCHEN. NIGHT.
AMBER'S MOM is making cookies. AMBER snaps her cell phone closed, annoyed.
AMBER
But maw-awwwm! Why can't I just go out with my friends?
AMBER'S MOM
Because you're too old for trick-or-treating. Now be a dear and go answer the door.
AMBER
I hate you!
Amber stomps out of the kitchen and answers the door. She opens the door to a SWIRLING VORTEX OF ABSOLUTE EVIL. Like the cold hand of death, an ICY WIND emanates from the vortex. The FRONT PORCH LIGHT FLICKERS unnaturally, and the CANDLES in the 2 JACK-O-LANTERNS are extinguished.
AMBER
(Rolling her eyes)
Little old to be trick-or-treating, aren’t you Eater of Shadows?
OFF-SCREEN:
AMBER’S MOM
Oh is that Eater of Shadows honey?
EATER OF SHADOWS
Hello Mrs. Night!
AMBER
No mom, just some stupid kid.
(Turning back to Eater)
So . . . what? Welfare mom couldn’t afford a costume this year?
EATER OF SHADOWS
(Dramatically, under-developed voice cracking)
Oh, I’m not here for any of your mortal tricks or treats, Yellow Poncho of Justice. No, I am here to collect something much . . . less . . . trivial.
AMBER
Well you can’t have my chemistry notes.
EATER OF SHADOWS
Oh come on! I was, um, sick. I had to get my retainer—
AMBER
Goodbye Eater.
EATER OF SHADOWS
Wait! Alright, do you have any 3 Musketeers?
AMBER
No. Later loser.
EATER OF SHADOWS
Fool! I know your mom buys 3 Musketeers every year. For this slight you shall feel my wrath!
AMBER
Yeah, well if you teepee our yard again I’m telling my dad.
EATER OF SHADOWS
(Clenches his fist and looks quickly away)
Fine. You win this time, Yellow Poncho of Justice. But I’ll be back. Oh yes, I’ll be—
Amber slams the door.
AMBER
What EVER, loser.
(Leans against closed door and whispers to herself)
So . . . dreamy . . .
October 31st, 2006 at 11:15 am
Ah, the plot thickens. I was wondering why YPoJ didn’t just throw a katana through EoS throat in the last episode. Now it all makes sense!
YPoJ and EoS sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!
October 31st, 2006 at 11:36 am
I heard that Daniel Radcliffe is being cast as EoS for this. He’s been asking to be shoved in a blender, and this just might be his chance.
October 31st, 2006 at 2:42 pm
Awwww, you deleted Hunter’s idiocy and your excellent spanking of him.
October 31st, 2006 at 3:20 pm
Hey! You can’t get rid of the only villan! What sort of story doesn’t have a good villan? What would YPoJ be without Eater of Shadows, I ask you?
To paraphrase Dave:
Amber and Hunter sitting in a tree…
So . . . dreamy . . .
October 31st, 2006 at 7:41 pm
OK you rule. Love your imagination.
Will you marry me?
What?
No, ignore my wife.
November 1st, 2006 at 10:54 am
Thanks blake. I’m still dealing with how to off Saget’s wife, but I’ll get back to you…
November 1st, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Props for the return of the lyrics but minus .5 for stuffing Hunter into the memory hole.
November 1st, 2006 at 2:44 pm
Ohhh wow Syntax, I completely missed the Thriller reference. Duh.
November 1st, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Rumor has it shes covering it on her next album.
November 1st, 2006 at 3:15 pm
You people (and by "you people" I mean Dave) pick up on the weirdest shit.
Oh and fine. Hunter's termination is hereby commuted. But only because it makes me feel great and terrible. All shall love me and despair, blah blah. But so help me Syntax, if you don't start taking better care of him, it's back to the shelter with him.
Edit: I do want her glasses though.
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:34 am
Woooha!
The triumphant return of both lyrics and Hunter!
“Syntax Heir”– The power behind the throne.