Amber Night (rebooted)

I choose you!

Wait until you see the unrated cut.

(found via Cuppy)

Oh, and apparently I have a 30% chance of survival in the event of a zombie attack. That’s kinda discouraging.

30%

From Yahoo! News:

JAKARTA, Indonesia – Marijuana possession should remain a crime in Indonesia, but chefs who use the herb as a traditional way to season curries should not be arrested, the country’s vice president told local reporters.

Cooks in parts of Indonesia — a nation that executes drug traffickers — say they use tiny amounts of crushed marijuana leaves or seeds as a spice in certain dishes.

And by “certain dishes” I think we all know what they’re talking about.

Aries March 21-April 19

Personal praise and an award of bonus DKP’s from your raid leader is bittersweet against the knowledge that while you were AFK for the last 2 hours, your cat was cleaning itself on your keyboard.

Taurus April 20-May 20

While you tend to be popular at fan gatherings, your genetically skinny 3 foot long ears and freakishly long eyebrows continue to hinder your ability to be taken seriously at SCA events.

Gemini May 21-June 21

The latest addition to your group will listen patiently as you explain how they should play their character, where they should stand, and exactly when and what they should attack. Then they’ll do exactly as you asked. LOL not really. The stars are feeling particularly sarcastic today.

Cancer June 22-July 22

Today is your day to make a difference! You will leave a lasting legacy to your fellow gamers by writing a forum post detailing in excruciating detail why you are leaving the game, what needs to be changed, why the devs are purposely ruining the game, and that you don’t care if anyone reads it or replies as you are never coming back. Make sure to note in your follow-up post that you really do care about the game, that it was perfect/sucked ass in beta, that it’s a shame it will fold in the next 6 months, and that you are never coming back. In your follow-up post, clarify any details you’ve been attacked on, and then disgustedly leave forever. In your follow-up post, accuse the moderators of being tools and then leave forever. In another thread, demand to know why your goodbye post has been locked, and leave forever. In another thread, post your spec and ask for constructive criticism.

Leo July 23-August 22

Mercury moving into retrograde this weekend could spell trouble to your best laid plans. The stars will cut to the chase: your guild is not following you to Vanguard. I’m sorry, but no.

Virgo August 23-September 22

Poor planning on your part doesn’t necessarily spell disaster. Have a backup plan when a Cheeto shortage threatens cat-ass weekend. Your mom keeps a few dollars from her Social Security check tucked away in the blue tupperware bowl above the fridge. I think you know what to do.

Libra September 23-October 22

Today is a good day to brush up on your self affirmation skills. Say it with me now: “‘Lol’ is not a word. The next time I say ‘Lol’ instead of just laughing, I will throw myself feet first into a meat rendering machine while jabbing scissors into my ears.”

Scorpio October 23 – November 21

Sensitivity is the order of the day. Etiquette demands you bow or curtsey immediately following a corpse hump.

Sagittarius November 22-December 21

Avoid Leo today. He will not shut the fuck up about Vanguard. /ignore is your friend.

Capricorn December 22-January 19

There are 8 million people who play World of Warcraft. 8 freaking million. That hot elf chick you’ve been cybering with? Your dad. Imagine the odds. I guess what I’m saying is that the stars have a sick fucking sense of humor. (Yes, the stars are re-cycling this joke from the last Horoscope. Do not mock the stars, she has they have a hard enough time coming up with new material portents of the future as it is.

Aquarius January 20-February 18

Learn Boundaries. Your guild mates are your friends. They will be happy and generally encouraging when you announce that your diet is finally working. They will, however, be grossed the fuck out when you start talking about how the Alli is making you shit Wesson oil.

Pisces February 19-March 20

Your detailed and intricately planned plot to grab total control of your guild will come to a swift and bitter end when you realize the rest of them actually play on a different server.

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Dude 1: <Unintelligible> killed Ant Man.

Dude 2: Like that would be hard. It’d be like you’re just walking along and all of a sudden you’re like “oh shit, dude, I just stepped on Ant Man. He’s fucking dead man. I just killed Ant Man by stepping on him because his super power is that he’s a fucking ant.”

Dude 1: Check out this Manga shit, man.

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I thought this might be fun. Come up with a list of arbitrary length (we don’t do Top 10 lists here on “the AN”™) of iconic characters, real life or otherwise, that MMORPG players would probably recognize even if they had never played the game in question. The rules: It had to be either a real person or character. No conceptual or generic icons like “the Ban Stick” or “nerfs.” I also stayed away from designers because you could probably make a couple of lists with just names like Raph Koster, Richard Bartle (who is still alive), Chris Crawford, ad infinitum. This list isn’t necessarily the most important icons in the MMORPG-o’drome, but perhaps the most recognizable to the most number of players.

The list after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

• It’s come to my attention via multiple (like 6!) emails that pointers by their very nature are de-referenced, and thus my post makes no freaking sense. Thank you for the information and tutorials. Now that I know what drives computer programmers bat-shit crazy, most of my posts will not only incorrectly address pointer de-referencing (I’m told I just made a pun) but I will no longer be closing some of my curly braces. It’s up to you to find them.
• I did so attribute The Onion in Gamer Voices 1. Look for the link, it’s cleverly hidden as the very first one. But you’re right, I didn’t attribute them in the 2nd Gamer Voices.  I am a plagiarizing sack of shit.
• There will be more Yellow Poncho of Justice, and I promise it won’t be as lame as the last one.
• 7 lbs soaking wet.
• 5 – 11 – 19 – 32 – 54
• Yes, by all means suggest Friday You Tubes. Especially if it contains Robotic soccer and/or Hello Kitty. (Robotic soccer WITH Hello Kitty would be teh shiz.)
• Only once. But I was on cold medication and didn’t have anything clean to wear.

From itnews.com.au:

GLOBAL – IBM has recreated a ‘virtual Wimbledon’ in Second Life where users will be able to see matches being played by avatars using real match data from this year’s championships.

You know what would be even more exciting than watching virtual tennis being played by NPCs controlled through an XML stream fed from an actual tennis match? Paint. Drying. Or cricket.

Ian Hughes, a ‘metaverse evangelist’ at IBM, said that virtual worlds like Second Life allow people to “experience Wimbledon in a better way, with other people”.

And by “experience Wimbledon in a better way” he means “strap on a virtual penis and have a virtual 3-way with virtual Venus and Serena Williams.”

A cow-orker just showed me this trick. When giving out your email address to a website, you might want to know how they’re using it. If you have a GMail account, let’s say suzi...@gmail.com, you can tack on a little tag, like this: suzi...@gmail.com. It doesn’t matter what string you put after the “+”, (within reason, I’m sure) email sent to your normal address will still be delivered to you, and you can filter on it. Tres cool.

Teen 1: I think Canada should take over the world.
Teen 2: Then we’d all have to play ‘ockey, eh?
Teen 1: True. Maybe the Australians should take over then.
Teen 2: Then we’d all have to go around saying “bonzer,” eh?
Teen 1: *lols* Australians say “eh”?
Teen 2: I just figured the Canadians would come in second place.