This Guy Also Wears Judgement Jammies
While the rest of us are content to just hate Bill Gates and Vista (in that order), Reverend Ken Hutcherson is gonna get bluescreen on their asses:
An advocate of a “biblical stance” against divorce and homosexuality, Mr Hutcherson, 55, is asking millions of evangelical activists, as well as Orthodox Jewish and other allies, to buy up Microsoft shares and demand a return to traditional values.
Microsoft, he declares, will be just the first company targeted in an escalation of the culture wars between evangelicals and corporate America.
No word on who the second company will be, but can I just say that if Reverend Ken can also get Vista to stop thrashing my disk every 30 seconds, then sign my ass up for the hating.1
Still, I’m a bit skeptical. I can’t help but wonder if the good Rev has really thought this whole thing through:
“I told them that you need to work with me or we will put a firestorm on you like you have never seen in you life because I am your worst nightmare. I am a black man with a righteous cause with a whole host of powerful white people behind me.”
See what I mean? It’s possible that he might be focused a little too strongly on the whole stock market angle, because when a black man has a “whole host of powerful white people” behind him, it’s usually less about the Merrill and more about the Lynch. And before you fire up the angry email generators, let me just clarify that neither myself nor the Reverend Ken is implying a correlation between teh gay and civil rights:
He rejects comparisons between the black civil rights movement and calls for gay rights.
“How many homosexuals have you ever seen had to ride on the back of a bus? I haven’t seen one. I know that many blacks have in the past.
“I’ve never seen an ex-black. Michael Jackson couldn’t even achieve that. But I’ve seen ex-gays. We minister to them every day. We talk to them about how to get out of that sin.”
Reverend Ken is, of course, absolutely correct in his analogy. Gays have never been targeted for abuse, discrimination, or…um…child molestation? Sorry, still not real clear on the whole Michael Jackson connection, but I’m sure it’s applicable on some level.
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1 I’ve got 8GB in my Mac Pro, so it’s not a memory thing.
November 19th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
I didn’t know David was a homophobe..
Anyway, I’m not a Christian (though I did play one in High School, and was confirmed Episcopalian), but from what I know about Jesus, if he were here today (and presumably he’s due any day now…), I don’t think he would be focused on taking over large corporations who advocate equal rights for homosexuals. In fact, I would expect that when Jesus starts clearing out the temples, the Reverend Hutcherson will be one of the first people to find himself out on the sidewalk.
November 19th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
And another thing.. I’m going to buy all the stock in Microsoft and make them open the source code to Vista and MS Office. Who’s with me?
November 19th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Oh, and if you load Vista on a Mac Pro, you get what you deserve..
November 19th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
and one last thing… Wait. Sorry. The names were so similar, even I got confused. Ahem. So. Lynch joke. Horrible. Hilarious. You’re going to Hell, Amber, and man is it gonna be a funny, funny place. “Shedim? Well, she certainly ain’t bright!” Hey-oh!
November 19th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
I am speechless. When was this news? Should I buy MS now and sale when the other started to follow Rev. Ken or am I too late and the prices already peaked?
And Ben, I think David is partially gay (I remember I thought the actions are strange when I read that part).
From the historical perspective, the Gayer the army, the better the performance. David is about 50% Gay, and he needs God’s help to archive victory. Alexandr the Great is 100% gay, and he sweep through Greek, Persia, India with only 47000 (Persian king Darius has 100000+). And the moment he stop been gay he is dead.
So if the US has a true gay army, we could cut tax spending on military by a 50% percent.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Well I firmly believe that God has a sick sense of humor, otherwise he wouldn’t have created people like Reverend Hutcherson and this guy. I think Amber just earned a few more virgin Bob Sagets (or whatever gift awaits righteous women in heaven) with that Merrill Lynch remark.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Wow benro, Lee Mercer sounds like an amazing guy…
It reads like a CHRMA resume lol….
November 19th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Wow I can’t think of a better way for the conservative movement to lose hundreds of billions of dollars than to take over big companys and tanking their stock when they try to run them as theocracys.
All I can say is please, please, please, please go through with your threat. Someone will replace Microsoft pretty quickly, replacing all that money spent by bigoted, hate filled nutjobs will be a little tougher. Especially since it will only be the poor ones who are ignorant enough to take part in something so foolish.
If they were to start right away, they could even criple grass roots Republican fund raising for the next election … wouldn’t it be ironic if Billery won the election because Reverand Ken couldn’t keep it in his pants?
November 19th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
One of the things I find distasteful getting in a struggle with another thing I find distasteful?
Time to bust out some popcorn, fluff up the coach pillows, and start watching on the screen of my macbook pro.
November 19th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
As you might know, Amber Night Megalomedia has fully endorsed Lee L. Mercer for President. All comments criticizing Mr. Mercer will be summarily deleted, as those comments are most certainly made by the “Klu Klux Klan and the Communist Party” which Mr. Mercer will deal with through his revolutionary “Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence National and International.”
November 20th, 2007 at 4:26 am
I hope we excommunicate the Apple heathens next, anyone want to pray to Jesus and the flying lava penguins with me so this happen sooner? Oh, before we start I need to make my pubic hair sacred for the after-life, any idea on where I can buy some blessed judgment jammies half-price?
November 20th, 2007 at 8:16 am
Now we can tithe and get stock dividends at the same time! And, possibly, declare our investments as charitable donations! Now, THAT’S multi-tasking.
I am both confused and happy. Also an example of multi-tasking.
November 30th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Notes to the Rev.KH:
RE:”How many homosexuals have you ever seen had to ride on the back of a bus?”
If we could have made them wear the fucking triangles you’re damn straight they WOULD have been on the back of the bus. Almost. Probably still in front of you.
RE:”I’ve never seen an ex-black.”
You don’t think we’re going to fucking ADVERTISE that, do you? Not only do we not want our new friends to know, we don’t want the rest of you idiots asking us how we did it.