Amber Night

Reprinted from last year, because I got nothin’ this year. Happy holidays!

(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the secret headquarters
Not a machine was a’buzzing, not even the teleporters
The ponchos were hung in specially made cryogenic poncho receptors with care
In case evil should strike, and Justice should be there

The sidekicks were all tucked, snug into their bunk
Dreaming of tights, capes, and that sort of junk
And Bob in the basement, and I in his lap
We’d just settled down for a little nightcap

When out in the command center, there arose an alarm
I quickly rushed in to see what was the harm
Away to the Ponchomobile I ran like the shizzle
Threw on the turbo, the guns, and the missile

The city was calm, no riots or zombies,
And even the mutants were home baking cookies
When what to my Heads-up Display should I gauge,
But a gang of evildoers robbing an orphanage

The leader was foul, and his eyes were all day-glo,
I knew in a moment, it was Eater of Shadows!
More rapid than hobos, his henchmen they came,
And he whistled and shouted, and taunted my name

“Now Masher! now Clubber! now Killer and Stabby!
Ice this dumb broad, before I get crabby!
To the back of her head, watch those katanas!
While I make my escape, I’ll bail you mañana!”

And with one of those things you see in James Bond,
Eater rocketed away, leaving our hero quite pwned.
But with two henchmen down, and the other two vanquished,
The Yellow Poncho of Justice wasn’t quite finished

A bundle of orphans had weighed the villain down,
So our hero caught up, and then, oh yes, it was on!
His eyes how they twinkled! “I’ll destroy you, I swear!”
I punched out his lights, then I messed up his hair

The orphans they cried, and imparted their hugs,
I said “Stay in school, and please don’t do drugs!”
Then I patted their heads and pinched their small cheeks,
While they all rolled their eyes and coughed out “geek.”

I sprang to my vehicle, in the cool morning dew,
Then took to the air, only scorching a few
But I heard them exclaim as I headed out, pronto,
“Thanks for saving us all, but what’s up with the poncho?”

This entry was posted on Monday, December 24th, 2007 at 1:12 am and is filed under Amber's Brain. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.