Amber Night (rebooted)

According To CNN, There's Gonna Be A Lynchin'…Maybe

March 18th, 2008 Posted in Politics | 9 Comments »

From CNN:

CNN: 360° Blog: White men may decide Obama's fate

Because “360° Blog: Male voters may be key for Obama” doesn’t quite grab the key soccer-mom and clansmen demographic that CNN’s really trying to pull away from FOX.

How about this one: “360° Blog: Rapists may decide if Hillary lives”

Or “360° Blog: Vietnamese will decide if McCain gets more ‘hole’ time.”

Hey Anderson, call me! First hit’s free, but there’s more where that came from.

(Oooh lookit though. A horse ran away from a tornado! Well…he tried…)

Forbes: ZOMG Teh Wimmin Gamez?!!!11!

March 17th, 2008 Posted in Computer Gaming | 14 Comments »

THE Boomer Woman

For years, the answer to the question “do boomer women play computer games?” has been as elusive as…as…well as elusive as finding anybody who has ever actually used the phrase “boomer women” in a gaming context. Nonetheless, Forbes’ Brian Caulfield has the answer:

It turns out boomer women do play computer games.

And do they ever. The business of cranking out casual games–snack-sized alternatives to time-consuming fare like “World of Warcraft”–is mushrooming.

Mmmm…mixed metaphors! Unless Caulfield thinks mushrooms are a snack food, in which hey, my bad. Heck, maybe that’s what rich people who read Forbes snack on. Mushrooms and the crushed and lightly salted souls of the cubicle workers whose backs their fortunes are built on. But mostly mushrooms.

To be sure, classifying casual games as “games for girls” would not be fair.

Caulfield then goes on to classify casual games as games for girls:

But casual female-targeted gaming hits with female heroines, such as “Diner Dash” and “Wedding Dash,” make it clear that casual game developers are attacking far broader swaths of the population than the traditional 18-to-35-year-old male demographic coveted by makers of hardcore games.

“Diner Dash?” “Wedding dash?” Sweet Jesus on a Maxi Pad, I think my ovaries just asploded. Which is why–I guess–these games are targeted at “boomer women,” because…you know…they don’t have any ovaries. Or to apply a more scientific definition:

And while casual games appeal to everyone from pre-teens to old men (the world’s richest man, Warren Buffet, 77, haunts online bridge parlors while using the handle “T-bone”), women over 35 are the most likely to pay for them; 75% percent of those who pay for casual games are women, and 72% are over 35 years old.

According to Forbes, a “woman boomer” is a women over 35. Also, Warren Buffet is such a greedy fucking bastard that you’ll pry a subscription from his cold dead jewel-encrusted fingers itellyawhat.

In summary, traditional “boomer women” (of the non-Warren-Buffet variety) are purchasing casual games targeted at women performing traditionally female roles. Zoemygawd that’s profound. Tomorrow we’ll tackle the question “do 10 year-old girls play with Barbie dolls? The answer may surprise you!”

Friday Matinee Double-Feature

March 14th, 2008 Posted in Arts/Entertainment | 2 Comments »

Based on an email sample of 2, the Friday video was lame. Fine. Be that way.

Your Friday Game-Related Matinee

March 14th, 2008 Posted in MMOs - World of Warcraft | 2 Comments »

I’m surprised it took this long.

I almost didn’t post this because…well because you’re better than this. Well…not much better, because you probably play a prot specc’d pally. But still.

Liv Tyler Fans Are Sure To Be Disappointed

March 11th, 2008 Posted in Arts/Entertainment | 2 Comments »

Patrick Stewart: “Tolkien was a hack.”

…he spoke to Peter Jackson about taking the role of Gandalf (for the original films) but turned it down because of the script!

Probably a good thing. They’d have had to CGI out his wheelchair. But the real reason he turned down the script probably had to do with more fundamental creative differences.