An Actual Gaming Post, I Kid You Not
LotRO continues to be fun, despite its numerous (but not burdensomely numerous) shortcomings, such as that goddamned bug that’s been there since beta, where the “roll for teh 1337 1007″ dialog box pops the hell under the the normal loot dialog box. I am not a coder per se1, but the task does not seem insurmountable. Something like:
8560: $Make_the_goddamned_1337_1007_dialog_box_pop_on_top=1;
would work just fine and dandy.
And remember the days when the most annoying sound in the game was basically everybody with a flute playing Stairway to Heaven? I long for those days. Please dear god, give me Stairway to Heaven on a fucking flute, just please don’t make me listen to another horse whistle. It used to be much worse until the last patch. Now it only causes searing migraines instead of migrains accompanied by eye bleeding.
And while my grasp on reality is allegedly cohesive enough to understand that this is, after all, just a game, the new fishing system strikes me as incongruent with the situation at hand. The Witch King is breathing down mankind’s neck from the North. Sauron casts his foul gaze from the East. Black riders travel unhindered across the land, and a group of brave Hobbits, I am told personally by Gandalf (who I was instructed to speak with by Elrond, even though the Great White Wizard was standing right next to him [they appear not be be on speaking terms at the moment...awkward!]) is about to embark on a quest of utmost importance. (I pretend not to know what it is, but I know. Oh, I know.)
Meanwhile…
Just outside the Last Homely House, there’s Frodolficus the 35th level Lore-Master, adorned in his newly purchased fishing vest, who’s just angled himself a 20 pound Salmon out of the Bruinen river, earning some kind of reward that has absolutely fuck all to do with destroying the you-know-what. Way to be a team player there buddy. Here’s your flute.
ยง
1 I have, however, been known to roll the occasional Perl script.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:21 am
If you read The Silmarillion, you’ll find that the import/export of various fish was crucial towards the defeat of Sauron.
Just kidding. No one has ever read The Silmarillion.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:40 am
One does not simply read The Silmarillion. Its black covers are guarded by more than just dense prose. There is grammar there that does not sleep. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
A) Glad to see a post, no matter the format.
B) I’m not a coder (though I’ve been known to roll some CSS), but how much work could it be to format the blog to look like something slightly less nothing? I mean… I read you for the wit and thoughtfulness, Amber… but it’s kinda embarrassing to leave a comment on such a, well… nood blog.
C) Stop byotching about the fish. Hobbit gotta eat, don’t he? The fact that none of the books covered eating, scratching, nose-picking, t***ing, la***ing, br**** feeding, etc. don’t mean some gnarly troll don’t wanna rp it.
D) I read The Simarillion, thank you, when I was in the 9th grade. If, by read, you mean “I had the book open for awhile on each page spread and my eyes roamed left-to-right and up-to-down while doing so.” If by “reading” you mean “gained any knowledge, understanding, joy or fun,” then, no… nobody has ever read it.
E) Never question or assert your grip on reality in public. It’s anathema.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Lol. That Cloak is the best.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Amber: Marry Me.
May 13th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Why don’t you have your raid leader just up the loot rule so you only have to roll on the cool stuff? Or have a master looter and use the /roll command to divide up later.
May 13th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
It’s funny how you always hear about someone reading the Silmarillion, but they’re no more than a shadowed rumor. Or, if you do actually know someone who’s read it, the can’t honestly tell you that they understood or enjoyed it. Not that I’m saying it’s a bad book. Not at all.
Also, Amber, your response to Dave T. G. was hilarious and very clever. Well played.
P.S. That cloak rawks!
May 14th, 2008 at 7:07 am
FFS people, granted the beginning is abit tough, though JRR’s version of the earth’s creation rules over other versions I’ve heard of.. (I know, 95% believe in all that, beware the jihad, bwee! )
It’s all worth it, however.. I mean, the bad guy in the Silmarillion is a *god*, Sauron is just a peeon.. This dude *created* Balrogs and the Great Wyrms. It really all culminates in the tale of Beren and Luthien, theirs being the *first* pairing of a mortal and immortal for love..
Hmm, seeing people’s eyes glazing over already, what a shame.. I felt *someone* had to stand up for what is, after all, the real “greatest story ever told”..
:0)
May 14th, 2008 at 7:57 am
@Dave T: I’ll think about it. Can you role-play Bob Saget? For hours at a time. Like…24 hours at a time? Wearing his carefully preserved skin? …
@Andy: Sorry, the guy who helps me with the the blog design has a life an all, so until he, you know, stops having one, I’m kinda stuck with this.
@Erkht: If you did not exist, it would be necessary to invent you.
May 14th, 2008 at 9:23 am
Sigh, This always happens…
May 14th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I don’t know, Amber. You know how in the movies and in TV shows no one is shown eating, drinking, or going to the bathroom unless it is somehow integral to the plot, and every so often some smart-ass (like me) will make a comment about how the world isn’t realistic, because the hero/villain hasn’t once complained about rashes or chafing from wearing the same clothes over the course of 14 episodes?
Well, there’s a whole cottage industry of laundromats, catering, and whatnot support the Frodos, Wolverines, and Boris/Natashas or the world. Perhaps Frodolficus the Fisherman was just making Gandalf’s boxed lunch?
May 15th, 2008 at 10:12 am
I wonder if it’s possible to at least emulate Stairway to Heaven with horse whistles…
May 18th, 2008 at 12:21 am
“is about to embark on a quest of utmost importance. (I pretend not to know what it is, but I know. Oh, I know.)”
How could you possibly know? It’s a super sekret! Oh noes. She’s a witch! BURN HER!
May 19th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
The “sitcom father of DJ and Michelle” Bob Saget, or the foulmouthed comedian Bob Saget? He’s got such range, it would be hard for one man to live up to all that. Especially wearing a suit of 50 year old skin.