But…and here’s the thing…a bad CS experience poisons the well for future sales. I’m not talking about monopoly industries here - like your unfriendly local telephone service provider - but competitive industries like, say, computer sales.

So, here’s my horror story. I buy a multimedia laptop 3 years ago from a well-respected company (the name rhymes with Newlett Fackard) and about 2 months into the purchase the screen begins to act…funny. It blanks out, a restart doesn’t get it to restore…I do the sensible thing and go to the Website and file a ticket. I’m told to call. I call and get an individual who is obviously outsourced (i.e. from a different clime where elephants parade through the street and everything has curry in it, or so I’ve been informed from careful watching of Indiana Jones movies) and following The Script. Have you updated your drivers? Yes. Have you rebooted? Yes. “Do it again anyway.” So, there’s four hours of my life gone with no real resolution except “run the restore disk.”

I run the restore disk. It still doesn’t work. By this time I’m pretty sure it’s a video card issue - since I have worked with computers For Freaking Ever and have actually built a few in my day - but I can’t seem to break through the Wall of CS Indifference to speak with someone Not Following The Script. I call again…and I’m forced to go through the same damn Q&A even though they have my ticket in front of them and know that I’ve done it all before. This time I actually manage to get someone to agree to take the damn warrantied computer back and repair it.

Flash forward a month with the “repaired” system on my desk - same problem. Another two calls, the same damn script, another ten hours of my life lost, and lo and behold I finally get transferred to a senior CS rep in Palo Alto. They apologize for the problem and send me a new laptop BEFORE I’ve sent back my malfunctioning one…and the new laptop is even spiffier than the one I’m discarding.

However, even though I finally got a working machine, I’m not buying another Newlett Fackard computer. Why? Well, they could have purged their CS system completely, hired Rhodes Scholars to work the phones, pay each customer back for loyalty with scented oil massages and free Mimosas, but I’ve been burned by nearly sixteen hours of cross-Pacific telephone frustration and will take my couple thousand bucks elsewhere, thankyouverymuch.

So…the company saved by routing CS to the Subcontinent, pacifying shareholders and keeping expenses down, but they lost out on continuing sales and repeat business. Not only that, since I’m the “IT Guy” for my circle of friends and family, I am in a position to deny them a whole circle of sales by steering my “posse” away from buying Incredibly Expensive Electronic Devices from Newlett Fackard…including (by my casual count) three printers, two digital cameras, and another laptop.

Also, wowpanda, the incentive for the employee to pass up the $1000 to quit is that they’ve found they like working there and want to continue doing so. They’re trying to offset the hassle of looking for a new job (which the employees in question only recently stopped doing) motivation to not quit a job. I know I’ve stayed in a job I hated because looking for a new job was a hassle. If they’d paid me $1000, I’d have jumped immediately, they’d not have wasted the next four pay checks on me and could have hired someone who cared at all.

As for The Matrix Online: Holy shit. I remember being pissed off when I quit WoW because they forced me to specify a reason for leaving and wouldn’t provide a simple “I prefer not to answer” option. Having to call customer service to cancel your account? That’s .. insane. Jesus Christ. I’m seriously having trouble comprehending just how bad that is.

Anyway, I don’t think the quality of the CS in the game really effected it any. Good CS wouldn’t keep me around longer, bad CS probably wouldn’t scare me off. When I did resubscribe to the game, I wasn’t thinking about what a hassle it would be to quit again. But, thankfully, it was much easier to quit the second time around (which was nice, because I used that wonderful feature after playing for about four or five minutes).

The story should be different for MMO companies, the best way to grow is not spend top money on tech support, but to spend top money on get better content.

Most players on MMOs probably knows computers better than the average tech support people, and they are in it for the content too.

My best customer service interaction in my life was when I lost my ticket for an airline at a layover. I had no time, so I bought a second ticket and got on the flight, and stopped at the desk waiting for the agent to sort it all out. When she walked up, I said, “I lost my ticket and bought a second one” She replied, “That sucks!!!” in a way that made me know that everything was going to be ok. It was ok, too.

You can bet that no manager will ever put “That sucks!!!” into a script.