Comments on: We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Friday Matinee

By: Ken

Ken — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:12:39 +0000

Are you absolutely sure it was a raccoon and not a cleverly created animal simulant, spying on you for a super secret government organization? I’ve said too much…

By: Coign

Coign — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:03:35 +0000

I have yet to write up the story for my website but I will soon.

Anyways the short version is that my friend woke up at 2:30 in the morning on this July 5th to sounds coming from his kitchen. He investigated with a loaded .357 in hand. (He lives on the second floor.)

As he flipped the light not more than 5 feet away from him staring him in the face sitting on his counter was the biggest raccoon he had ever seen. He screamed like a little girl and said he was a finger-breadth away from firing the gun and possibly putting some holes in a large raccoon and maybe his next door neighbors.

He quickly opened the front door and screamed for the monster to leave. He now takes this time to point out that he is a 6-foot, slightly overweight at roughly 240 lbs., bald man holding a loaded .357 magnum, screaming and with his front door open. And he is completely naked.

Finally the raccoon left the way it came in; through the 4 inch gap in his second story patio door. (He measured it later.)

In fact he said as he was down on all fours measuring it the patio door was a mirror due to the light from behind him. As he is down in a very vulnerable position the damn coon came back and he looked up and was about 4 inches from its face. Cue second little girl screaming. He said this time the coon got scared and was screaming right along with him.

There are a few more details but those will have to wait until I can do a full write up for my website.

By: wowpanda

wowpanda — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:26:39 +0000

that is one funny raccoon, pretending to be driving a car Kids always love to do that.

By: Krones

Krones — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:04:47 +0000

Huuuuuuuuuush raccoon lover who purposely catches them by leaving her car window rolled down. 105 daily avg on the outskirts of Death Valley so no bragging about sunny days! Next time smash the raccoon and take its brain meat to make some spicy nomz nomz.

By: Neumann

Neumann — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 01:57:25 +0000

That Was Funny As Hell.

thanks for the laugh. Sorry about the upholstery. Try baking soda.

By: Woody

Woody — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 21:29:21 +0000

I had a rather large and very hairy spider drop down from my visor and dangle in front of my face while doing 80 on the highway years ago. I’m so glad nobody was in the car with me as the stories of me screaming like a b-movie horror starlet would linger til the day I died.

I’ve never left my windows down since then.

By: amber

amber — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 21:17:01 +0000

Ohh…I even read Pharyngula from time to time. Comment #22 would have come in handy yesterday…

By: Colin M

Colin M — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 21:12:35 +0000

Oddly enough, another blogger I read offered the same exact advice just a couple hours ago, though his reason was mosquitoes. Comment #22 over there said:

“I don’t know about Minnesota but I know of another good reason here in rural Maine to roll up your windows. Raccoons. Human theft around here may be uncommon but raccoons love to ransack any place they think there might be food or anything else of interest (like many animals they like shiny things).”

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/06/wisdom_from_rural_minnesota.php

By: Andy Havens

Andy Havens — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:43:59 +0000

Yep. Windows up. It’s a lesson you only have to learn once, either from weather, theft or fauna.

Friend of mine who worked summers near a national park once left his windows all the way open and came back to find a young brown bear stuck in one of them… coming out. Apparently he’d managed to fit going in (as evidenced by a giant load of steaming evidence), but somehow got wedged weird-wise on the way back out.

My sensei for this lesson was a summer hailstorm. Out of nowhere, massive hail storm, with lots of wind. Come out to the car to find it filled about 10″ deep with hail stones the size of Pez.

My sympathies. White vinegar helps cut the scent of animal pee.