WarHammer Online: A Feature-By-Feature Comparison
Paul Barnett (Warhammer design chieftain, who is also under the impression that MySpace is a valid blogging engine and that grainy film effects are wicked cool and totally not seizure-inducing) answers the question “how is WAR different from WoW?” I answer the real question that’s on everybody’s mind: “how is WAR different from Sarah Palin?”
WAR: No item damage on death.
Sarah Palin: Complete destruction of the world on John McCain’s death.
WAR: No corpse running.
Sarah Palin: Corpse is a running-mate.
WAR: You can level in PvP.
Sarah Palin: Levels while secluded in Dick Cheney’s secret underground bunker.
WAR: If you kill someone in PvP you get loot.
Sarah Palin: If you kill someone in DNC, you can gut and field dress them in under an hour.
WAR: You can get into PvP right at the start PQ’s get round the problem of needing friends.
Sarah Palin: You can get into the second highest seat of government in the nation right at the start, with only a horny old war hero as a friend.
WAR: Your bag increases in capacity as you level and you can sort your bags via filters IN game.
Sarah Palin: Your baggage increases as you have more children. And grandchildren. And grandchildren who might be your children. And children who knocked up your child. Basically you are a vaginal clown car.
WAR: If you don’t want to PvP you still have a great PvE game.
Sarah Palin: If you don’t know a goddamned thing about foreign policy, the economy, social issues, Iraq, Afghanistan, or science, you can still be a great superbitch.
WAR: You can craft and its ace and if you like crafting its jolly, it has experimentation.
Sarah Palin: Does not speak British.
WAR: The Tome Of Knowledge is a great read and gives you a reason to explore.
Sarah Palin: The Bible is a great read and will become the new U.S. Constitution.
WAR: The open grouping system makes it easy as pie to find friends.
Sarah Palin: Ancient war hero running mate loves pie, especially when she does the airplane feeding thing.
WAR: Yes you can MOD the UI and yes you can customize the UI so all your cool toys will still be there in WAR.
Sarah Palin: Hawt hawt MILFy interface needs no customizing.
WAR: The maps in WAR show you where to go and where to hunt for each quest.
Sarah Palin: Doesn’t need a goddamned map to hunt, kill, and rip the still-beating heart out of her enemies—all while breast-feeding her adorable special needs hockey team.
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The REAL question is whether or not Sarah Palin has the foreign policy experience to handle the meltdown of a mmo beta in Europe.
Well DUH, of course she does. In fact, the real question is: who more than Sarah Palin has the foreign policy experience to handle the meltdown of a mmo beta in Europe? After all, Europe is right across the Bering Strait.
I read “vaginal clown car” and burst out laughing loud enough to get looks from everyone in a two-cube radius.
Both feature Norse Berserkers as well.
So full of win.
Had to copy/paste the clown car line to my gf.
[...] The real Warhammer Online comparision! So full of win. [...]
WAR: Filled with goofy, cartoonish stereotypes that purposefully substitute violence for social discourse, anecdotes for history, dogma for spirituality and glib one-liners for wisdom.
Sarah Palin: Filled with goofy, cartoonish stereotypes that unintentionally substitute violence for social discourse, anecdotes for history, dogma for spirituality and glib one-liners for wisdom.
Wow… thank you Amber for making my day a wee bit brighter. Passed along to those who I know won’t go on a Republican apologist tirade.
/spews Code Red all over monitor
You owe me a flat screen after the ‘clown car’ blast.
Classic.
Jason (resident drunken idiot of Channel Massive)
No Amber, Sarah is like WOW. I can’t understand horde when they speak orcish and I can’t understand Sarah when she speaks in tongues!
[...] Amber Night
Last I checked – Siberia was right across the strait from Alaska – I believe that is part of Russia. (Someone correct me if I am wrong) but Russia is not part of the United Euro Nations. But what does that even matter when George Bush [can] “look into Putin’s eyes and tell whether or not that is a man [he] can do business with.”
William Blake would call this a sentatment of primal humanitarianism – but what would he know about democracy he was a 19th century religious mystic.
But, but, Amber. You are a woman… and Sarah Palin is a woman… Doesn’t that mean you have to vote for McCain?
You sound kind of negative. Maybe I am reading this wrong.
Sarah Palin: Does not speak British.
I actually thought this was more funny than the clown car thing, but I haven’t been listening to the news so I suspect I’ve missed something.
I also think it was probably the best made point against her. That Alaska is across the straight from Russia is, in the 21st century, virtually meaningless. It’s not like saying Texas is right across the river from Mexico … we don’t have tens of thousands Siberians boating across the straight for instance. Come to think of it, having Mexico right across the river from Texas doesn’t seem to have done anything for the present administrations foreign policy acumen at all. Neither John McCain, nor the soon to be President Palin ( John McCain if elected will convieniently suffer a ‘heart atttack’ so the CIA and NSA can have a President they can actually get behind ) strike me as the person to undo the damage the Bush administration has done to our relations with the rest of the world.
Wow, you’re a bitter, bitter person. Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to me to be as funny as this obviously sounded in your head. (Ok, I didn’t read it all. I couldn’t stomach the pure vitriol.) Well, no doubt you’ll find plenty of left-wing hatemongers who’ll love this and you.
I think I’ll leave you now, so don’t mind me. I used to think that liberals were compassionate… I’m beginning to think they only claim to be, since I never see them exhibit any towards their opponents.
[...] to Amber Night for pointing this out. I sure as hell would never have found it on myspace. No Comments so far Leave a comment RSS [...]
geez amber your site is becoming more stale every day and your opinion is like a uninformed brat spouting nonsense.
i guess everything do garner attention eh ?
Maybe the liberals got tired of being call whiny and bleeding hearted.
You’re pretty sensitive Indy. Are you sure you are not a little liberal yourself?
If you want to see some real silliness, check out Ann Coulter.
I loved this.
Yeah! Amber sucks for posting something that contradicts deeply held political beliefs!
Wait, this is my anonymous joke account, just like the others, right…?