Speaking of Evil Tobacco Overlords…
Socialist Nigerian kidney thief spammer so-called “President” (as IF!) Barrack “Obama”1 is apparently very healthy, which is a very dickish thing for him to do because he is also “growing orchards” (this is stoner code for “marijuana,” try to keep up old people!) right there in America’s oval office which he then “tokes on” while perching his dirty hippy feet up on America’s first desk as if he were the dirty hippy king of the desk world or something sheesh!
Which has what to do with gaming you ask? Fuck all, really. I’m just trying to avoid playing Star Trek Online. I mean, it’s fun. I guess. I’m just not really experiencing the wonder around every corner like I did in LoTRO, the WAAAAAAGGH (sp?) in Warhammer, the wow2 in WOW, the massive nipple overload in Age of Conan (everything has nipples–the swords have nipples!!! THE GODDAMN SWORDS HAVE NIPPLES!!), or the complete bewilderment at how anybody thought this was a good idea in The Matrix Online. I am, in fact, completely apathetic towards this game. I honestly can’t pick out a single thing I don’t like, and maybe it gets better, but…meh.
Oh and also this:
Melissa Morris didn’t realize the graphic nature of her son’s new video game, “Dante’s Inferno.”
“I didn’t know anything about it, he said he wanted it, so I got it.”
Because, you know, what little Yale (seriously, his name is Yale) wants, little Yale gets, and then mom and little Yale (SERIOUSLY THAT IS THE FUCK HIS NAME!) get to express outrage and horror to some Channel 42 bimb…her name is Shanisty Myers? Seriously? Okay then, little Yale and his mom–let’s just call her Incontoneta Asspickenowski–express horror and outrage at their purchase of a game about hell and blood and violance, to Channel 42 wunder-journalist Shanisty Myers, because it contains graphical depictions of hell and blood and violence.
Anyway, nothing…NOTHING AT ALL…would have tipped this woman off to the fact that there might have been a wee bit o mature content. Oh, except maybe…
…the big ‘ol “18″ right there in big red letters, or the fact that it takes place in hell (read a book lady!) or even the fact that there’s A BIG BADASS WITH A BIG FUCKING SCYTHE WHICH HAS A HANDLE MADE OUT OF VERTEBRAE!!!?!?!
I dunno…too subtle? Maybe the Dante’s Inferno aisle at Best Buy should have been surrounded by a moat of boiling blood and guarded by syphilitic Harpy beasts armed with big-ass vertebrae scythes or swords with nipples or something.
Learned lesson says mom:
“Parents need to read the back of the package especially if they are buying for anyone under 17.”
D’ya think?
Maybe she should go out and buy Star Trek Online for her son. It has tribbles!
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1Who is conveniently using a fake birth certificate and military ID, supplied of course by high school dropout and 7-11 loiterer Joe “Cheech” Biden, the stoner who also supplies all the 3.2% beer for Obama’s every-morning quote “Beer Summit” unquote.
2As in, “wow! I cannot believe THIS is the most popular MMO in the universe.
[...] Amber Night (rebooted) » Blog Archive » Speaking of Evil Tobacco … [...]
I heard an article on NPR about Dante’s Inferno the other day. Apparently some Dante scholars are unhappy about the amount of creative license EA took with fleshing out Hell in the game, while others (at least one, who is a gamer) thinks they did a pretty good job with it, if you can sort of ignore the ridiculous premise.
Wow – you can keep typing in a comment, but once you get to the bottom of the box you can no longer see what you are typing. I feel censored(can’t tell if the spelling here is wrong because I can’t see what the fuck I’m typing right now here in this limbo place where you go when your comment is over three sentences long … I’m thinking I may need to close a parentheses here somewhere maybe.)
Closed.
Interesting. Composing a comment scrolls as you would expect in Chrome and IE, but not Firefox. I’ll see what can be done.
Edit: should be fixed now.
I was so exited about STO that I pre-ordered the game so I could get in the beta.
I was so disappointed with this game that I didn’t even bother to subscribe when it launched.
Yes…. I am ashamed.