Don’t Worry, That Slightly Yeasty Scent Is Just William Shatner Marking His Territory

If you head on over to ThinkGeek, you can get liquified scrapings of the inside of William Shatner’s thighs. ON CLEARANCE!!!
These concoctions comes in two…flavors?? Let’s call them flavors. There’s Tiberius for him, which will deliver a flying body kick of the Shatmusk straight into her cerebral cortex before she can whisper so much as a passionate “khaaaannn.” Her body will be with you, but her soul will be with William Shatner. (see photo)
And then there’s Pon Farr for her, which is Star Trek elvish for “hey it’s been seven years, let’s fuck after you kill your best friend!!!” And then you’ll catch a whiff of those sandalwood and mulberry pheromones, and it’s all over but the shirt ripping and, yes, more flying body kicks.
Next up!
Bones: Now with actual femurs!
Worf: Smells like ass. BAD ASS.
Picard: Me. Hot. Earl Gray. (still a work in progress…)
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I could go with the Tiberious brand but then I wouldn’t be wearing….Cthulhu in Love Perfume. “an amorphous mix of oppressive, piceous ritual incense, macerated kelp, sea salt, sticky dark ocean plants, and . . . mixed chocolates.” Woo hoo!