Don’t Worry, J. J. Abrams Will Eventually Make It Cool With Shakey Cams And Improbable Plot Twists
March 24th, 2010 Posted in The Internets | 2 Comments »
Starship Captain lawyer and airline ticket huckster Denny Crane has a really good idea! Remember that whole “social media web 2.0″ thing all the kids are doing with the twatting and the facebooking? Oh and once upon a time when we all had Apple ][e’s and printed our porn on dot matrix printers (really?!?!) there was this thing called MySpace but I think I deleted it off my floppy disk or something does anyone still have a copy with cheat codes?!?!?!
Anyway Denny Crane just cold invented social media…IN SPACE!!!!!!
Now you can space chat, space email, space instant space message, space cosplay, space update your space status (mood: space angry!), and space hookup IN SPACE!!!
Haha! Just kidding because you will be too busy trying to figure out why you are just a lowly fucking redshirt and can’t do anything except get killed on the away team:
Q: Why can’t I start my own Group?
A: There are only 12 authorized Groups on Myouterspace.com, which are the 6 Planets and the 6 Starships. During Registration you already picked a Group to be a member of when you selected Citizenship on a Planet.
Q: Why can’t I begin my own Blog?
A: Starship Captains and Planet Governors are the only Users allowed to generate content through the use of the Blogging Feature. They use Blogging as a way to display News and Site information, not as a communication tool. If you would like to expand your profile information in lieu of Blogging, please do so!
Q: How do I become a member of a Starship’s Crew?
A: The only way that you can become a Crewmember of a Starship is if the Starship Captain selects you. The Starships are going to consist of only those who are working on its final project, and if your talent stands out enough on your planet, you may be selected to work with a Starship Team!
But if you are (Admiral!!) William Shatner, it’s fucking cool because you get to be in charge of space people again without Romulan-sympathizer dickhead Leonard Nimoy stealing the director’s chair out from under you. And Wil Decker doesn’t think you’re sorry, not one damned bit!
